


They Have Feelings, Y’know

by SallyLovette



Category: Sonic Boom (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, incessant and copious use of the fuck word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 19,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16320989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyLovette/pseuds/SallyLovette
Summary: “He would make a great addition to Team Sonic.”Sonic convinces Shadow to give friendship a chance. Things go wrong faster than anyone could have predicted.





	1. Tuesday

“No.” 

Shadow would have left it at that, but Sonic doesn’t know how to take rejection, apparently. He follows him home and gets in his face, blocking his way to the bedroom— makes angel hands under his chin and bats his green eyes. “Please?” 

Shadow doesn’t say anything, just shoves him aside and walks past. He hopes slamming the door will be enough to get rid of him, but Sonic just opens it again. “C’mon,” he says, not smiling anymore, “why not? Give me one good reason.”

“I hate you.” 

“Besides that. Also, side note, not a good reason.” He puts his hands on his hips and puffs out his chest, the smug look on his face giving Shadow the sudden urge to vomit. “Everyone loves Sonic.” 

“Ugh.” 

“Look, I don’t know what I ever did to make you resent me so much—”

“Get out of my house.” 

“—but I _do_ know you made a promise to protect the earth.” 

It’s the wrong thing to say. Shadow leaps up, discarding his game controller, and gets right in front of him. “Shut up.” Sonic raises his hands, taking a step back. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“Why are you still here?” He turns his back again, hoping against hope that Sonic will get the message this time (leave me alone, just leave me alone) but he doesn’t. Instead he picks up the controller and carries it over. “Look, I know that if you just spent some time with us, you’d get to like us. We can save the world together.” He smiles sincerely, stretching his hand out. “You don’t have to be alone.”

Shadow is quiet. Then he sighs, snatching the controller. “I’ll think about it.” He’s lying, and he would have thought Sonic realized it, but his face lights up like a Christmas tree and he pumps the air with his fist. 

“Yes! I knew I could count on you!” 

“You fool. I said I’d _think_ about it.” Shadow pushes him none too gently into the hall. “Now leave. Your presence tires me.” 

“Okay, but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

Shadow slams the door. He hears Sonic say something else before leaving, and although it’s too muffled to make out, he knows it was something hopeful, and encouraging, and optimistic, and... _Sonic_. Making a face, he wipes the game controller where Sonic touched it ( _disgusting_ ), then throws himself stomach-down on the bed and starts pummeling enemies in Mortal Blood Sport XII. On any other occasion, the mindless gameplay would have been relaxing, but the audacity of Sonic’s proposal makes him madder and madder with each passing second. As if he would ever join his team— as if.


	2. Wednesday

He waits until there’s a fight, then picks the perfect moment to steal the thunder,  garnering no small amount of satisfaction from dealing the coup-de-grace a split second before Sonic has the chance. When it’s over, he stands amidst the dust and ruin, and they stare at him exactly the way he had planned (awed and a little afraid) so that he has to fight the urge to smile as he says, “I’ve decided to accept your offer.” At which point they all turn and look at Sonic, who looks back at them, smiles, and says, “see? I told you he’d come.”

They gather around. He holds his posture rigidly as they regard him, no doubt with mistrust, but he doesn’t care what they think. He keeps his eyes locked on Sonic, who stares unflinchingly back at him. After a minute, the red one, Knuckles, breaks the silence with a highly characteristic, if tension dispelling, display of idiocy. “Is it Halloween already?” 

“No, fool. I’m the one who punched you through a wall.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“He’s not gonna be working with us, is he?” Sticks asks, because crazy doesn’t have a filter, or because everyone else was already thinking it. Shadow doesn’t say anything. Neither, to everyone’s surprise, does Sonic. In the end, it’s Amy who puts a hand on Sticks’s shoulder and says, “Well, I, for one, am happy he’s here. We’re going to get along great together.” Her tone takes on a threatening quality. “Aren’t we, everyone?”

Under duress (she still has her weapon out), everyone clamors in agreement. Later, an apprehensive Tails will ask Sonic if he’s sure this is a good idea. “No,” Sonic will answer, with a helpless sort of shrug, “but it’s worth a shot. Anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Shadow hops down from the robot’s smoldering remains. Amy, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks wander off, but Sonic remains behind, arms folded, smiling in such a self-satisfied way Shadow has only one choice what to say. “What?” 

“I knew you would come. Well, don’t worry. You’re gonna learn a lot from me.” 

“Ha.” 

“Come on. You’ve never been to Meh Burger.” 

“Fast food? That sounds dreadful.” 

“You’ll love it.” 

“I doubt that.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Sonic’s smile widens at an inside joke Shadow will soon be a part of. It almost makes him second guess himself, although he’d labored over the decision for no small amount of time, but what’s said is said and what’s done is done, and how bad a joint could it be, anyway, if Sonic likes it? Unfortunately, at this point, Shadow still has no clue of Sonic’s terrible eating habits, nor of what horrors lurk beneath “well, so do I.”

But he will. He will.


	3. Wednesday

They get kicked out of Meh Burger. Glaring at his untouched food, Shadow can hardly call it a loss. He thinks Sonic will be upset with him (how the hell was he supposed to know it was bad manners to pummel the staff? He’ll throat punch anyone who calls him emo, braces or no) but as they hit the streets, the moon a sliver in the sky, he is laughing. “You really lost your temper back there.” 

“I’m not emo.” 

“So what if you are?” 

“I’m not,” Shadow insists, but Sonic isn’t listening. “Whatever,” he says, shrugging. “That guy had it coming.” They stop under a streetlight. “You can crash with Tails and I, if you want.” 

“No.” 

“C’mon. We’ll have a sleepover.” He hesitates, uncertainty dampening his smile. “Have you ever been to a sleepover?” 

It’s so obvious a question he almost doesn’t answer, but Sonic is waiting, so after a minute he just goes, “no.” Sonic doesn’t look surprised. He grabs Shadow’s hand, which Shadow wasn’t prepared for. He doesn’t react in time, which has the unfortunate effect of encouraging Sonic, who smiles and starts to pull him in the direction of what Shadow can only assume is, for him, home, declaring, “we are gonna have so much fun.” They only make it a few steps before Shadow, feeling strange, yanks his hand free. He’s honest with himself: he doesn’t know if hand holding is normal or not, among friends, nor does he know, in that moment, quite what to do. He goes with the one thing he does know. “Let’s race.” 

“You’re on.”

Instantly, the tension dispels. They line up, then take off. They’re neck and neck for most of it. Shadow doesn’t glance over, but he can just _feel_ Sonic smiling. Suddenly, he no longer cares about winning. When Sonic’s house is in sight, he veers sharply, knocking him off his feet. They tumble and land on the ground. It’s a no-holds-barred wrestling match, just like that, but Sonic is running on an empty stomach, and he doesn’t really want to hurt Shadow, not after finally convincing him to give Team Sonic a shot, but Shadow has no such pathetic excuses. Soon he has him pinned. They breathe heavily for a time. 

“I win,” Shadow says. Their legs are tangled together, and his knee happens to be, not entirely incidentally, situated within the sensitive area between Sonic’s thighs. A complete accident, to anyone’s knowledge but his.

“Good for you,” says Sonic, holding completely still, because one wrong move and he’ll brush against Shadow somewhere, and then there will be hell to pay, no doubt. “Although— correct me if I’m wrong— you did say race, right? How’d this turn into a fight?” 

“It wasn’t a fight.” 

“It felt like it.” Sonic fails to come up with a snappy retort, grimacing instead. “Ow, ow. You’re hurting me.”

Shadow really, really doesn’t want to, but what else can he do? He lets Sonic up. They both stand, and Sonic dusts himself off. “Well. That was...” He can’t think of a way to end the sentence, and they’re both painfully aware of it. Shadow turns and points.

“That’s your house, right?” 

“What? Oh, yeah.” 

Shadow doesn’t say anything else, just takes off, and when he gets there, instead of waiting, he opens the door and lets himself in. Tails is on the couch. The look on his face when he sees him is priceless— like he’s come to steal his pelt and wear it as a scarf. 

“Hello,” says Shadow. 

“Eep,” says Tails, and falls to the floor. Sonic enters the room, still mostly covered in sand. 

“Hey, Tails! Look who’s sleeping over. Better fire up the popcorn-bot.” 

“Hurray,” Tails says weakly. And Shadow is amused.


	4. Wednesday

The movie they watch is called _The Happening_ and Shadow can’t fathom how such an abomination could have been conceived.

Both Sonic and Tails are asleep by the end.

He glances at them.

Tails is really too young, he thinks, to be hanging around someone as dangerous as Sonic. Asleep, fists curled loosely near his mouth, he’s so vulnerable looking, like a baby. But he’s smart, fiendishly so, and the reason why the house is full of weird gadgets and half-useless appliances. Sonic hadn’t been kidding, it turned out, about the popcorn-bot. The smell of burnt kernels still permeates the air. Just one more reason to hate sleepovers— as if there weren’t already enough.

Shadow slides off the chair and kneels by the couch, right in front of Tails, and stares at him. Age aside, he’s doing well for himself. If only he knew what he was getting into— if only he didn’t hold Sonic in such high regard. He really has the potential to be something. Why is he hanging around this fucking island? The things he could do, the places he could go— Shadow is jealous. Tails isn’t like him. Not a monster; not trapped here. Feeling many things not limited to bitter, he considers the variety of ways he can take these feelings out on him. Asleep, as well as in general, he’s so defenseless— Shadow could carry him out over the sea and just drop him in. It would take a minute and be so easy. If only he didn’t have so much to lose, he might actually do it. At the very least, it would be funny. 

He hates Tails and it’s weird. He’s never really given him much thought until now. But the way he kept side-eyeing him, since the moment he entered the house, and the few words they exchanged (“So... you like inventions?” “Not really”) were more than enough to communicate, albeit inadvertently (for all that Shadow despised him, Tails was too polite to ever say a cross word aloud), how little Tails trusted him, especially around Sonic. It was in the way he wedged himself between them, never left them alone together, hinted that perhaps Shadow would be better off spending the night at his own place— “Sonic can be forceful sometimes,” he said, “not in a bad way, but like. Don’t feel like you have to stay here, Shadow, if you don’t want to.”

Shadow hadn’t wanted to. The movie sucked and the popcorn sucked and the couch sucked and Tails sucked even more than all those things put together, and Shadow had indeed been this close to leaving at the time he’d suggested it, but the look Tails gave him then, meaning “go away, please go away and don’t hurt Sonic,” nonverbal yet explicit, made Shadow both angry and spiteful. So “no,” he’d said, even as the idiot lead actor on the screen made some idiot monologue that had nothing to do with the idiot plot, “I think I’ll stay.” And it had made him feel better, just a little, to watch Tails’s ears ever-so-slightly droop. 

Do you know who I am? he felt like asking Tails then. I could kill you in an instant. Don’t ever piss me off. But he hadn’t said this, and even if he had, it would have done little good, because Tails, it turns out, can piss him off without even trying. Peacefully sleeping, completely unaware of Shadow’s glowering face inches from his own, or of the things he’s been doing throughout the night to make him so angry— the two of them laughing about things Shadow didn’t understand, each pop culture and niche reference as incomprehensible as the next, and getting into a brief but spirited pillow fight that Shadow had been hard pressed to keep from flinching at when one too many blows came too close to his head (which was also around the time he glared at them, which was also around the time they abruptly stopped and sat down and shut up for a while, these three things, of course, having no correlation whatever)— snuggled up against Sonic, expertly out of the way of the pointy quills, as if they’d snuggled this exact way over a hundred thousand times, Tails drives him damn near over the edge. He hates him. He hates him so much.

He maybe would have done something bad, just then (foxes can survive underwater, right?) if he hadn’t looked at Sonic’s face and been suddenly calmed by it. The difference between the way he looks when he’s asleep and when he’s awake is like night and day. There’s none of the boundless energy or snark or confidence now— just tranquility, so out of place, and strange, and pretty. Shadow touches him. His peach-colored cheek is as smooth as pearl. He feels the urge to kiss him, but, together with the debilitating self-judgement that prevents him from breaching the quarter-inch distance (what is wrong with me), he is afraid to wake him up. Instead he goes outside and sits by the ocean to wait for the sun to rise. He doesn’t feel like sleeping. 

“How much you wanna bet they end up together?” Sonic had languidly said, at one of the slower parts of the flick.

“It’s a movie,” Tails had said. “Of course they end up together.” 

“You don’t know that for sure.” Sonic had twisted around and looked at Shadow for the first time in a while. “Hey, Shadow. What do you think? Are they gonna slam?” 

“What does that mean,” Shadow had said without thinking, and they’d stared at him for all of five seconds before bursting into laughter. 


	5. Thursday

When he gets back to the house, around eight a.m., the others are already there. He pauses outside the door, listening, because he figures they must be talking about him. Lo and behold, he’s right.

“I’m telling you guys, it’s a trap.” 

“It’s not a trap, Knuckles,” Sonic says, rolling his eyes. “He may be grouchy, but he’s not evil. Trust me on this.” 

“We do trust you, Sonic,” Tails says. “It’s Shadow we’re worried about. Remember when he tried to destroy our universe?” 

“It’s no good, man,” Sticks interrupts, seizing Sonic’s arm, much to his discomfort. “One second, the two of you are on your cute little hamburger date—”

“It wasn’t a date,” Sonic protests, blushing. Sticks goes on as if he hadn’t spoken. 

“—and the next, whammo! You’re dead, or worse, strapped to a table in Eggman’s lab.” 

“What? He’s not working for Eggman.” 

“We don’t know that.” Amy lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Look, I want to befriend him as much as you do, but we have to consider the risk. What if he tries to destroy the world again?” 

“He won’t.” Sonic pulls away from them both. “Just give him a chance. You’ll see.” 

“He made me punch Tails in the face,” Knuckles says. For some reason, this seems to push Sonic over the edge.

“Why are you guys being such jerks? What, do you hate him or something?” 

“Sonic, no. We just don’t want to see you get hurt. That’s all.” 

“I’m not gonna get hurt. I know what I’m doing.” 

“That’s the thing, Sonic,” Tails says, and something in the way Sonic looks at him causes him to hesitate before going on. “No one really knows anything when it comes to Shadow— least of all his intentions. What if he tries to hurt you?” 

“He won’t.” 

“But what if he does?” 

It goes quiet. Shadow chooses that moment to open the door. They all swivel around to look at him, no doubt wondering the same thing: how much, if anything, had he overheard? He brushes past them to get to the bathroom, pretending not to notice. “I’m back.” 

“Shadow,” Amy says unconvincingly casually. “Did you have a nice walk?” 

“Yes.” He pauses, not looking at anyone. “Thank you for letting me stay the night, Sonic, Tails.” 

“Oh. Uh, you’re welcome.”

They all watch as Shadow shuts the door. They hear the faucet run, then stop running. A few minutes later, the door opens, and everyone jumps as if electrocuted. They stare at him, and he stands there, caught in their collective gaze, the brunt of all that uncertainty and fear, and it’s not a good feeling, but with no alternative he just keeps pretending not to notice.

“I’m going to find someplace nearby to live,” he tells Sonic, refusing to look at anyone but him. “If you need me, call my cell phone. I wrote the number on your mirror.” 

“What? Really?” 

The team dashes to the bathroom, a disorganized scramble that makes Shadow roll his eyes. Sure enough, his number is written neatly in soap. “295-6372,” Knuckles reads aloud. “Huh. I didn’t know Shadow even had a cell phone.” 

“Me either,” says Tails, curiously. “Y’think he’s on any social media?” 

“No way. He doesn’t have any friends.” 

“Guys,” Sonic interrupts, in a way that clearly means “shut up,” but when they turn and look, Shadow is already gone. They put his number into their wristwatch communicators before Tails wipes the mirror clean.


	6. Sunday

They get in constant fights.

The first fight started when Sonic had tried to give Shadow an order and he’d responded with, “don’t tell me what to do.” So they’d stopped mid-battle to argue. Their moment of inaction, though brief, allowed the six-armed robot to smash Meh Burger. After that, things escalated quickly. It wound up solely Amy and Knuckles’ efforts that reduced the robot to a heap of scrap, as Sonic and Shadow were previously engaged in kicking the absolute shit out of each other. 

This has to happen seven or eight times before Sonic will even admit it’s an issue.

Sitting on the counter in the bathroom, he winces as Amy tends to his forehead. He’d seen red earlier in the day, not due to anger; Shadow had gone straight for the face this time, and the blood had run into his eyes. Under her pointed gaze, he’s helpless but to say, “okay. So maybe this is getting out of hand.” 

“When are you two going to get along?” 

“As soon as he realizes I’m not a freaking dictator. All I said was, like—” he gestures emphatically until she tells him to hold still— “‘hey, Shadow, we should try a spin move here.’ Next thing I know he’s using me to make a crater in the boardwalk.”

Shadow’s voice, coming from the other side of the door, makes them both jump. “If I didn’t know where and when to use a basic spin move, I’d have been dead a long time ago, blue boy.” 

“Shadow, no eavesdropping,” Amy says, accidentally using too much force applying the bandage. Sonic stifles a noise of pain. She draws back, horrified. “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” He gets down, forcing a smile, holding his face. “I feel much better. Thanks.” 

“Sonic,” she starts to say, but before she can stop him, he crosses the small room and opens the door. Shadow is standing there, glaring at them. 

“And I’ll certainly feel less inclined,” he says, as if he hadn’t been caught listening in a moment ago, “to go around making craters with people’s heads when Sonic stops trying to boss me around.” 

“No one’s trying to boss you around, Shadow,” Amy says. “Now get in here. I want to see your hand.” 

He recoils, clutching his injured hand close. “No. I can do it myself.” 

“I’m in charge of first aid in this house, thank you very much.” She can see he wants to argue, so she cuts him off. “You’ll just do it wrong. Do you want an infection?” He tries again to argue. Her patience wears thin. “Shadow, just give me your hand.” 

Sonic watches in disbelief as Shadow relents. “Are you kidding me? You’ll listen to her, but not me?” 

“Deal with it.” 

Deal with it: something Sonic probably would have done, if not for the little kiss Amy gives Shadow’s hand when she’s finished, making him blush the color of a pomegranate, stutter over his words, and stumble as he leaves. Sonic huffs after he’s gone. “How come I didn’t get one of those?” 

“What? A kiss? Because you don’t like them.” 

“But why does he get one?” 

“Don’t be jealous, Sonic.”

He scoffs, blushing redder, even, than Shadow had. “I’m not.” To his relief, she can’t tell that he’s lying. Instead, she pushes him out into the hall, adopting the most authoritative tone she has.

“Now you two better sit down and have a discussion and fix this whole stupid thing.” They stop and face each other, and he’s surprised to find such a stern look on her face, her index finger pointed straight at him. “Remember: Shadow’s inclusion on our team was your idea. If anyone gets hurt, you’re responsible.” 

He sighs. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, meaning, “I’ll talk to him,” which, judging by her satisfied look, she understands. Before he can get more than two steps away, he hears her say, “oh, and Sonic?”

He turns just in time for her to cup his face, pull him in, and kiss him. Once it’s over, he staggers away, feeling dizzy. Her giggles follow him like little twittering birds, circling his head and disorienting him further. 


	7. Sunday

When Sonic suggests ice cream, Shadow is confused. This is because, unlike Sonic, he was never a child. He didn't have parents, neither the kind that would bandage a skinned knee, kiss their small son's cheek, and stem his tears with ice cream, nor otherwise. Not to mention that, logically, it doesn't make sense. Ice cream is not medicinal. How is it supposed to help you get better? 

"It doesn't," Sonic says, rolling his eyes in that way that makes Shadow feel foolish. "It just helps you _feel_ better."

Shadow doesn't get it. Sonic sighs and says, "could you just go with it?" 

So Shadow quits glaring at his rhubarb sundae and takes a tentative taste. It's sweet. He supposes, if he was a different sort of person, he might like it.

Sonic, who no one could deny was that person, had agonized over the different options before, bouncing like a toddler and embarrassing Shadow thoroughly in the cute little parlor, selecting something with a dozen scoops, each a different flavor, in a huge glass bowl, covered with caramel sauce and topped with cherries. He gets about halfway through before giving up. "I'm stuffed," he declares, holding his stomach. "That was awesome."

"You're going to be sick," Shadow marvels, torn between amazement and disgust. He thinks Sonic is going to say something snarky, but he doesn't.

"You barely touched yours." 

Shadow pushes it away. His eyes are downcast. Sonic understands straightaway, and his smile fades. "Shadow, it's okay. You don't have to like it."

"But you do. Everyone else does. Why can't I get it right?" This is what Shadow doesn't say, because he would never say that, even though it's the only thing he can think of, in that moment. Instead, he is quiet. 

Sonic falters, then smiles.

"You're an interesting guy. You know that?"

"Pft."

"I'm glad you decided to give us a chance. I know you've been kicking my ass like, every day, but at least you're trying."

Another long silence before Shadow manages, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Oh, hey-- I've been meaning to run this by you. I think you should try being team captain for a week or so. We can alternate. How does that sound?"

"Lame."

"Well, what's your idea, smart guy?"

Shadow is quiet for a long time again. Then he says, "I won't fight you anymore. I'm going to start listening. I swear. And if I fail, I'll leave."

"Oh." Sonic is startled. "Okay. Cool." He picks up his spoon. "But you don't have to leave. Like I said, all that matters is you're trying."

"You're so positive. How do you do it?" This is another thing Shadow doesn't say. Instead he pulls his glass back towards him, picks up his spoon, too, and takes another bite. The sweetness is overwhelming. 


	8. Tuesday

It makes him feel so much better to think there’s something a little bit wrong with him, that his perfect smile and boundless confidence can be decimated so completely by something so relatively simple. And Shadow isn’t a huge fan of water, but at least he’s not scared of it. He’s not a child, for heaven’s sake. He can swim. 

But Sonic can’t.

It’s hilarious.

He finds it out through bits and pieces of random, thoughtlessly spoken conversation, as well as in spite of the fact that Sonic does everything in his power to prevent it from happening. When it does, it’s pretty much the first time any of them see Shadow really smile. They’re unnerved, but Sonic, on the other hand, is humilated. He buries his face in his hands. 

“I have better things to do,” he moans, “than take swimming classes with a bunch of little kids. What’s the point?”

“You really are weak.”

Sonic stands abruptly, slamming hands on the table. “Am not.”

“Are so. You’re afraid of a little water.”

“Am not!” 

“Ha!” Shadow is still grinning, a satisfied, infuriating grin that makes Sonic’s face hot. “I bet you’re part cat.”

“Am not!” 

“Guys.” Amy tries to calm them down, de-escalate things, but Sonic turns and speeds off, rattling the table. A plate of chili fries splatters on the ground and the napkins take to the air like kites. The others exchage glances, and Shadow can feel their annoyance with him as if it’s tangible, but he isn’t bothered. He hasn’t felt happier in weeks. 

 

*

 

“I hate you.” 

“Now who’s being mean?” 

“You!” Sonic tries to sound angry, which he is, really— just not as much as he is scared. He locks his arms tightly around Shadow’s neck, buries his face in his chest. “Please put me down. I won’t tell anyone. I swear.” 

“Let me think about it.” 

“Shadow, come on! You’ve made your point. Let me go.” 

“Let you go?” 

Realizing what he’d said, Sonic’s eyes fly open. “Wait, wait—” 

“If you insist.” Shadow opens his arms. Sonic cries out, terrified. Without Shadow holding him, there’s nothing keeping him from falling into the sea. 

“No, no, no!” 

His grip on Shadow’s neck tightens. Over the roar of his pulse and the wind in his ears, he can’t hear whatever Shadow is saying to him. Tears squeeze out of his eyes, glimmering like diamonds. Shadow brushes them away, cups Sonic’s face in both hands and tilts it up. 

“Scared?” 

Sonic doesn’t answer, blatantly refuses to open his eyes. Shadow can see he’s utterly paralyzed. He almost pities him. 

“Poor thing,” he croons, kissing his brow. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” 

“You’re such an asshole,” Sonic wails. Shadow throws his head back and laughs. Sonic cries out. 

“I’m slipping!” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I’m slipping! Please—” 

Finally, having had his fill of amusement, (much to Sonic’s gratitude, he doesn’t doubt), Shadow puts his arms around Sonic, holding him securely. Their bodies are crushed together, hovering a thousand feet up, salty wind whipping around them. Sonic tries to hide his face in Shadow’s neck, but at the last minute Shadow tilts his face to the side, angling Sonic’s mouth with a hand on his chin so that their lips meet. Sonic’s eyes remain closed as he stiffens, then melts. Shadow kisses him harder, harder, and Sonic is either too afraid to pull away, or he doesn’t want to. 

Savoring the taste, the utterly sexy feeling of his tongue, Shadow is more than content to assume the latter.


	9. Tuesday again

They land at the edge of the water. Sonic pulls away, looking dizzy. Shadow watches him. Suddenly, he feels much less sure of himself. He resists the urge to ask if he's okay. Finally, taking a gulp of air, Sonic manages, "wow."

"That's all you have to say?"

"No, I just," Sonic stammers, shaking his head, "I had no idea."

Shadow can feel his face heating up. He scowls. "Well, now you do."

Sonic touches his mouth. "Wow."

"Don't you fucking dare tell anyone."

"Whoa, whoa." Sonic looks at him, surprised. "Of course I won't tell anyone, if you don't want, but... what does it matter?"

"It doesn't." Shadow's voice rises dangerously. "But you better not tell."

"Shadow, you kissed me."

Embarrassed, hating himself, Shadow turns his gaze aside. "I know," he snaps. He can hear the smile in Sonic's voice when he replies, can picture it spreading slowly across his face, exuberant.

"That explains why you always act so weird around me. You pretend to hate me, but actually—”

He doesn't have time to finish his sentence before Shadow lunges at him. In an instant, he's pinned to the ground, both wrists locked tight in Shadow's grip, their faces inches apart. He starts to sweat when he sees the look of anger in Shadow's eyes.

"Shut up."

Sonic says nothing. He can't think of anything to say.

"This doesn't change anything. I am not your friend. I'm your enemy."

Sonic stares at him, unblinking and hopelessly confused. "But then, why—?"

"You think I'm in love with you? Well, I'm not."

Sonic quickly shifts from confused to angry. "You're such a dick. You treat everyone like shit and you only care about yourself." He twists his body, kicking his legs. "Let me go."

"Not until you learn your lesson."

"You're the one who needs to learn," Sonic says, his voice rising as he starts to lose his temper. "That was the whole point. You're supposed to be good, but you're mean to everyone and now you're—" he falters, then stops struggling. "Why are you doing this?"

Shadow doesn't answer. Sonic can't look at him; for reasons he's not sure he can understand, he has started to cry, big, hot tears welling up in his eyes despite his attempts to stop them. "You're awful."

Unmoved, Shadow says, "you gotta have thicker skin if you wanna be a hero."

"I am a hero. You're just a villain, and if you keep treating people like this, that's all you'll ever be."

Shadow's gut wrenches. Defiant, he retorts, "does it look like I care?"

"I know you do. You can't pretend anymore." Sonic meets his gaze. "You love me, and you hate yourself. Just admit it."

"Never."

There's a tense silence. The waves pound on the surf, creep up the sand in wide foamy sheets, getting dangerously close the them. It puts Sonic on edge. Quietly, he says, "if you don't want to be here, then you can just leave."

Shadow's grip tightens. "What if I don't want to leave?"

"I don't want to fight you."

"It won't be a fight." To Sonic's alarm, Shadow leans in as if to kiss him again. "Just give up."

Sonic jerks his head to the side. "No!"

"You're so difficult sometimes."

Sonic tries again to kick with his legs, but Shadow has him pinned down good. His sneakers make deep, desperate grooves in the sand. Shadow kisses his cheek and he jolts. "Don't!”

"If you don't stop fighting, then I'm taking us for a swim." Shadow lets one of his wrists go and puts his hand on Sonic's special place. Sonic pulls his arm back and hits Shadow in the face with all his strength. He feels Shadow release his other wrist and fall backward off him. He scrambles away, trying not to breathe too hard. There's sand all over his hands and it gets on his face when he wipes his eyes.

Shadow gets to his feet and dusts himself off. "You're pathetic."

"I hate you." 

He hadn't meant to say it. The words seem to fall out of his mouth before he can stop them. He looks up at Shadow to see his reaction, but Shadow's face is blank. They look at each other for a moment that seems to stretch on forever. Then Shadow turns his back.

"Don't let your guard down next time."

"Just stay away from me."

He doesn't know if Shadow heard him. By the time he finishes saying it, he's already gone.

 

*

 

Instead of going home, Sonic goes to Tails's house. He'd thought about going to Amy's, but something had prevented him, something he had no way to explain. He doesn't knock, just lets himself in, and cringes when he realizes that's exactly what Shadow would have done.

"Tails?"

"Oh! Hi, Sonic." Tails is busy, of course, and doesn't glance up when he enters. Sonic picks up the first gadget he sees and sits down with it. 

"Whatcha workin' on?"

"You smell like the ocean."

Sonic sniffs himself. He does. "Maybe I should shower."

"Shouldn't you be at home? Where's Shadow?"

"Ugh." Sonic scowls. "Who cares about him?"

Tails raises his head. It's silent as he looks him over, the sand in his quills, the redness of his eyes, the slump of his shoulders. He frowns and sets his hammer down, lifting his goggles. "What happened?"

Sonic hesitates. "What if it doesn't work?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shadow. I thought I could change him, but it's been forever and he's just the same as he always was. It's like he doesn't even want to change." He flicks a button on the gadget. It comes alive and starts to dance in his hands. He stares at it sullenly. Tails watches him for a moment, then abandons his project to sit beside him. 

"Did you guys get in another fight?"

Sonic doesn't answer. Taking that as a yes, Tails smiles and brushes sand off of his head. "He's a hard case. You said so yourself, remember? Just give him time."

"If anyone gets hurt, I'm responsible."

"You sound like Amy."

Tails is relieved to see Sonic finally look up, smile, and wink. "I'll take that as a compliment." 

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, buddy."

Tails hesitates, then nudges him gently. "You know, you're really amazing for doing this. None of us used to think Shadow could amount to more than a problem, but he's our friend now."

Sonic's smile fades. He puts the gadget in Tails's hands and stands up. "I gotta go."

Tails's smile fades, too. "Sonic?" He worries that he said something wrong, but, thinking back, he can't figure out what it may have been. Sonic is avoiding his gaze again. Then, before either of them can say anything else, he flies out the door and disappears. Tails is left staring after him, worried and confused.


	10. Really late tuesday or really early wednesday

It's a quiet night. Eggman ponders this as he pours his tea. Like the calm before a storm, he decides, it must be a sign things are starting to go his way. For an evil villain, he's pretty optimistic.

He tries to access the hallway. The doors slide open to reveal none other than Sonic the Hedgehog, arms folded, foot tapping, one eyebrow raised. Eggman jumps out of his skin. The mug slips from his hand and shatters on the floor.

"Hedgehog! What are you doing here?"

Sonic doesn't explain himself, and he doesn't smile. "The jig's up, Eggbutt."

Looking at that smug face, Eggman quickly goes from shocked to annoyed. He reaches into his pocket, sneering. "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

As Sonic watches, he comes up with what looks like a remote and, muttering angrily, enters a command into it. A small door opens and a robot comes wheeling out, holding a dustpan and broom. It starts to sweep the mess. Sonic glances at it, then back at his enemy.

"I'm not here to fight. I'm here to talk."

"I'm not interested in talking to you," Eggman says. "Although, I must say, you look uncharacteristically sour." He grins. "What's the matter? Had a nightmare?"

"Just answer one question. Have you talked to Shadow lately?"

"Shadow?" Eggman's smile disappears. "Do I look like I've talked to Shadow? Wouldn't my insides be outside?" He brushes past Sonic, going in the direction of his quarters. "My spine ripped out and wrapped around my neck like a scarf?"

Sonic follows him. "It's a yes or no question."

"He's your new best friend, not mine. Why don't you ask him?"

"I'm asking you."

Eggman pauses. When he turns around, he's smiling in a way Sonic definitely doesn't like. "Ah," he says. "I get it."

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Why should I? It's funny to see you so clueless."

"Tell me or I'll kick your butt."

Eggman's smile slips again. "Hey, take it easy. Look, you can't just break into my home."

"I can if I think you're up to something."

"Well, I'm not, and even if I was, you have no proof. So why don't you just scram? If you really don't trust Shadow, kick him out of your little girl scout troop. Problem solved."

Although Sonic doesn't say anything, it's clear he's not wild about the idea. Eggman studies him. He feels a small twinge of pity. Then he sighs.

"You really think I'd tell you if Shadow was working for me? If you want the truth, you'll have to look somewhere else."

"Please."

Eggman is amused, but he holds his ground. "Sorry, kid. No dice."

Sonic falters, then changes his tone of voice from threatening to serious. Eggman is mildly interested. He's never seen “serious” in those playful eyes before.

"I know Shadow has good in him, but he's been through hell. People treated him badly. It's distorted his sense of right and wrong."

Eggman scoffs. "So?"

"So you use it against him. You constantly lie and manipulate and turn him against me when I'm the only one who can save him. How can you be so evil?"

"Hello? Arch-nemesis?"

"Our rivalry is between us. It has nothing to do with Shadow. Just leave him out of it."

Eggman throws his head back and laughs. "Why should I?"

"I want to help him, but he's never going to get better if he keeps getting sidetracked by you."

"Shadow is his own person. He can choose which path to take, and he certainly doesn't need you looking out for him. I'm willing to bet he doesn't even know you're here."

Sonic doesn't answer. Eggman steps forward, puts an unwelcome arm around his shoulders and squeezes him affectionately, like a teacher might his pupil or father might his son. "The way I see it, you can either accept Shadow for who he is, or you can't. You say you want to fix him, but what if he doesn't want to be fixed? What if he likes himself the way he is? Would it be right for you to try and change him?"

Sonic lowers his eyes. He'd come in guns blazing, as usual, but now he's losing his certainty. It's a long time before he's able to voice what's on his mind. "What happened on the Ark..."

Eggman waves a hand. "A thing of the past— forgotten about. If you think Shadow's still hung up on her, you really don't know him at all."

Sonic hesitates, then looks at him. "Did he tell you that?"

"We worked together in the past, didn't we?"

"He's not a sharer."

"Maybe not to you. He trusts me. We have a lot in common."

Sonic almost laughs. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. Misunderstood, outcast, alone... not to mention—” Eggman puffs his chest out in a way that makes Sonic want to gag— "incredibly dashing. I'll wager I've forgotten more about Shadow than you'll ever know."

Although he's a known liar, something in the way he says it tempts Sonic to take him seriously. After all, doesn't he have a point? He and Shadow are somewhat alike, at least a little. But then— his face falls as the possibility sinks in. "He really trusts you more than me?"

"Don't beat yourself up, kid." Eggman's smile is malicious. "Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Sonic glares at him, pulls free from his grip. "You're the worst."

"I trust you know the way out."


	11. Early wednesday

It's not until Sonic is about halfway home that he realizes he's been followed. He sighs. It's been a long night, and he's not in the mood for this. He stops and turns around. 

"Come on out. I know you're there."

No response. He grins, slams a fist into the palm of his hand. "What's the matter? Scared?"

The leaves rustle. From the shadows, they emerge, ten robots so mint he can see his reflection in their armor. He sizes them up as they approach, gun turrets trained on his chest. "Honestly," he says, rolling his eyes, "why does he even bother?"

It takes less than a minute to deactivate all of them. He's not even out of breath by the end. 

 

*

 

Shadow's watch beeps. He scowls as he answers it. "Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“You were awake, anyway. Don’t whine.”

“What do you want?"

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"

Shadow says nothing. He can hear the smile in Eggman's voice. "Still bitter about our little arrangement?" he asks. "I don't see why you should be. You’re gonna come out on top, in the end."

"I'm not required to report in until tomorrow. Is there a reason you're calling?"

"He's onto us."

Shadow turns his head and gazes out at the horizon. The chilly night wind raises goosebumps on his skin. "I've been testing the limits of your little invention."

"How's that working out for you?"

"You realize I could kill you at any time."

"Go ahead. You'll be stuck on this island until the day you die."

"Who cares if little boy blue is suspicious?” Shadow reclines, resting his head on his arm. “He can't prove anything, and his childish moral code will prevent him from moving against me until it's too late."

"You sound like you've thought this through. Tell me, why did he show up at my house tonight, asking about you? You must have done something to set him off."

"I didn't."

"One slip-up, you realize, and our plans are foiled. I need you to understand how bad that would be for you."

"Of course I understand," Shadow snaps. "But I haven't done anything wrong. I'm following all your instructions to the letter. What more do you want from me?"

"Maybe a little conviction. I'm still not entirely convinced you're on board with this. If you give me a reason to think you're turning against me—"

"I'm not." Shadow stands up, frowning. "Dammit, just let me do what I have to do. You know I'm capable, or else you wouldn't bother. So just sit back in your cozy tower and let me take care of it, all right?"

"You're right, Shadow," Eggman says. "I should have a little more faith. By the way, I've been monitoring you by satellite."

Shadow closes his eyes. "Shit."

"That's right. So why don't you try again? Remember, it's healthy to open up about your feelings."

"Fuck you."

"Careful. If I lose my patience, and I've been very patient with you, Shadow, I'll be forced to punish you."

Shadow hesitates, struggling to find the words. To his aggravation, he realizes he's begun to sweat. "It was nothing. A foolish impulse. It won't happen again."

"You kissed him. I saw the whole thing. I gotta say, I would have thought someone like you would have smoother moves."

Shadow is silent.

"Tell me, Shadow. Should I be worried that your feelings for the hedgehog will result in your failure? Because if the answer is yes..."

"Of course it's not yes! I told you, it was nothing. I won't do it again."

"Don't lie to me, Shadow."

"Fuck!" Shadow loses his temper, raising his voice to full volume. "Just get out of my head, you monster!"

"I'm disappointed in you, Shadow. Come to the tower at noon tomorrow. We’re going to sort this out.”

The call ends. Left staring at his watch, Shadow feels the near-irresistible urge to rip it off and throw it as far away as possible. He wishes for something to punch, something he can take his anger out on, but, looking around, there’s nothing— just the earth, the sea, and the far-off sky. It’s a picturesque image, a watercolor painting, and, staring out at it, he’s honestly never hated anything more in his life.

His watch beeps again. He answers it. “What?”

“Shadow?” It’s Amy. “What’s the matter?” 

“Nothing.” He closes his eyes, tries to take deep breaths. “What do you want?” 

“You sound upset.” 

“I’m just... tired,” he lies. “I’ve been patrolling all night.” 

“Are you with Sonic?” 

“I’m not his babysitter.” 

“Well, come over for breakfast.” 

Shadow frowns. He wasn't expecting that. “Why?” 

“What do you mean, why? We’re friends, aren’t we?” 

“It’s two a.m.” 

“You can sleep first. From what I heard, you and Sonic aren’t getting along tonight. You might as well stay over at my place.” 

“Is this another one of those friendship things that I don’t understand?” 

Until he said that, Amy’s cheerful tone, he could tell, had been somewhat forced, but now she laughs. “Seems that way.” 

He mulls it over. She’s silent, waiting. They don’t like each other, but they have an understanding— for Sonic, they’ll maintain the illusion of getting along. 

That’s not what this is, though. She wants to talk. He can sense it. She’s not as stupid as the rest of them, despite being one of the youngest, but even she can be see-through at times. 

He doesn’t see a way out of it.

“I’ll be right there.”


	12. Wednesday

Shadow groans and buries his face in the pillow. It’s soft as a cloud, smelling of lavender. He doesn’t want to get up. He’s never been so comfortable, and it feels as if he’d scarcely slept for a minute.

He hadn’t known what to expect when he arrived. When the door opened, he braced himself for a confrontation, but Amy had merely smiled and pointed him toward the guest room. “Make yourself at home,” she’d said, in a tone so convincing he had to wonder whether she really was faking it. He’d always assumed she was. He found himself doubting it then.  

(Either way, there’s no denying she’s too kind for her own good.)

He tries to stay asleep, but it’s fruitless. At his house, it’s silent in the morning. Here, there’s so much noise, he may as well have woken up in a zoo. Laughter, voices, birds singing outside the window, dishware clinking and clattering, and whatever sorry excuse for music they have playing on the radio. Pop-genre. Not to mention the TV. He trudges out of his room, rubbing his bleary eyes, and is assaulted with the explosive colors and sounds of some nostalgic cartoon from the nineties. No one seems to be watching it. They’re all in the kitchen, helping with breakfast.

He sniffs. If he were a pancakes sort of person, he probably would have thought it smelled good. Kind of like what he imagined someone’s mom’s kitchen would smell like.

“Shadow!” Tails is the first to spot him. "I was just about to come get you." He's smiling so brightly it hurts Shadow's headache. A sudden hand claps down on his shoulder, making him jump.

"Sit down, pal." It's Knuckles. He steers Shadow into a chair. Almost immediately, Amy sets a plate in front of him, her perfect timing indicative of pre-coordination. "Sorry we don't have eggs," Knuckles says. "I needed them for something else."

"He blew up the carton with a bottle rocket," Amy explains.

Shadow isn't sure how he's supposed to answer. "It's fine," he goes with. "I like pancakes."

That seems to make them happy. He's offered juice, tea, milk, and water, consecutively. When a glass of juice is set in front of him, he can't remember if it's what he wanted. There’s so much happening all around him. He feels a shiver down his spine and turns his head two degrees to the right to see Sticks's face a millimeter away, staring intently at him. 

"I don't like milk, either," she tells him. "Corporations fill it with chemicals. It's how they control you."

Shadow feels dizzy. He looks down at his plate, where the fluffy cakes sit half-drowned in sticky golden syrup. He knows he should eat, but he can't bring himself to touch them. The others chatter amongst themselves. A kettle whistles and bacon crackles on the stove. Every so often they address him ("pass the salt," "do you want any bacon," “did you have nice dreams?")

It's a considerable while before he realizes they're trying to make him feel comfortable.

At a total loss, he picks up his fork. He feels obligated to eat. He tries a bite of pancake, but, in his uncertain state, somehow manages to swallow wrong. He grimaces, puts a hand on his throat and starts to cough.

Before he realizes what's happening, they're all on their feet. Amy shouts about the Heimlich maneuver. Tails yells to pound him on the back. Stick screams the food was poisoned. Shadow struggles to get a word in but he can no longer breathe and, to his frustration, can't manage to do much more than gesture. Knuckles stands completely useless beside him, a blank look on his face.

"What do I do?" 

"Heimlich maneuver!"

"Hit him between the shoulderblades!"

Sticks grabs Tails and shakes him. "We're all gonna die!"

For reasons Shadow will never know, Knuckles decides the best course of action is to lift him off the ground and turn him upside down. He fights and punches, furious. Amy shrieks, "Knuckles, what are you doing?!"

"It's simple science," Knuckles explains, holding Shadow with as much care and regard as if he was a ragdoll. "Gravity will save him!"

Suddenly, Shadow's eyes go wide. He spits out the pancake, holds his throat and coughs. Then, in a strangled voice, he yells, "put me down!"

Knuckles drops him immediately. The sound his head makes, a solid CRACK, as it smacks against the floor makes them all wince. 

They stare at him, horrified. Amy has her hands over her mouth. Sticks is still holding Tails's shoulders. Knuckles rubs his neck sheepishly. "Whoops."

Flat on his back, gazing up at the ceiling, Shadow doesn't move. In the background, the TV blares, "call in now and shipping is FREE!" while a woman on the radio sings, "bet you wanna rip my heart out, bet you wanna skip my calls now..."

"Oh my god," Amy finally says. "Are you okay?"

Shadow still doesn't move. "I'm fine."

"Knuckles, help him up."

"I'm fine." Shadow smacks Knuckles's hands away and gets up. Knuckles backs away, looking uncertain. 

Amy shakes her head, her eyes wide. "Shadow, I—"

"It's okay." He figures there's no point in being upset. In their own way, they were just trying to be nice. They made him breakfast. No one's ever done that for him before. He's sure telling them so would put them at ease, but instead he checks his watch.

"I gotta go."

"Wait, but—"

He glances at her, and she trails off, looking genuinely sorry. He doesn't doubt she is, that they all are. It makes him wonder what the whole point was. What the ideal turnout would have been, if it hadn’t all gone to shit. What she wanted to talk about.

Whatever. Even if he wanted to find out, there's no time. It's two minutes to noon.

He leaves without waiting for her to finish her sentence. 

 

*

 

"Sonic. Come in, Sonic."

Sonic answers his communicator for a change. "Hey, Ames. How was breakfast?"

Amy slumps back on her porch chair, gazing huffily out at the sea. "Fantastic."

"Uh-oh."

“There was a bit of an accident. Then he just ran off."

"Yeah." Sonic sounds amused. "He'll do that."

"What am I doing wrong?"

"I told you it wouldn't work. Shadow's not one for big gatherings, especially if he doesn't know everyone well."

Amy sits forward, gesturing in frustration. "But how are we supposed to get to know him if he won't open up to us? He's impossible!"

"He's not impossible. You just have to approach him the right way."

"I'm still not convinced he's on our side."

"Just because someone doesn't want to eat your food doesn't mean they're evil."

"Yeah, yeah. Just remember—"

"I'm accountable, I know, I know. Look, I'll call you back later. Bye."


	13. Wednesday

Shadow broods as he walks. Dr. Eggman may be a fool, but there’s no denying he’s creative. His punishments are something he’s has long since learned to dread. Every time he thinks he's gotten used to them, they get worse. He wonders what's in store for him this time, how long it will last, how well he'll recover, what will be expected of him afterward. There’s simply no telling.

It’s not fair. Thus far, he's been obedient as a schoolboy. Gain their trust, determine their weakest points, lie in wait to strike, report daily. Easy. Granted, no part of this scheme was his idea, and if he really had a choice, he probably wouldn't have agreed to it. But he doesn't have a choice, which Eggman knows full well. So why is he being punished again? 

Damn you, Sonic, he thinks. This is all your fault. His hand floats absently to his mouth. While it had been a good kiss, like a breath of air after suffocating for far too long, whether it was worth what's about to happen to him remains to be seen. If only he'd never done it.

"How's your face?"

Shadow looks up. Sonic is standing in his path, smiling. Shadow had been so deep in thought, he hadn't even seen him approach. He stops, cursing himself for blushing, and drops his hand. "What are you talking about?"

"I hit you last night. Remember?"

"I'm fine." The very idea that one of Sonic's punches would still be hurting him the next day is, in fact, amusing. 

"I'm sorry," Sonic goes on. "I didn't mean to. And I didn't mean any of the things I said."

"That’s great. Now move.” Shadow tries to sidestep him, but Sonic blocks his way.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business."

"I just apologized to you. Aren't you going to apologize back?"

Shadow says nothing. They stare each other down. Finally, Sonic moves. Shadow doesn't get more than a few steps away before Sonic calls, "you know you're headed right in the direction of Eggman's lab."

Shadow turns around. "So?"

Sonic shrugs. Shadow suppresses the urge to hit him. He's onto us, Eggman had said. Turns out he wasn't kidding. "I just need some alone time, all right?"

Sonic shrugs again, the look on his face one of innocent nonchalance. "If you say so." 

Shadow pictures closing the distance between him, seizing his neck, wiping that foolish smile off his face. He pictures pulling his fist back and giving him a taste of the venom that's been welling up inside him for so long. This whole ordeal may prove to be more than he's equipped to handle, emotionally or otherwise. Much more provocation and he won't be held accountable for his actions.

For now, though, he manages to stifle his aggression, turn, and walk away. For now, at least, he can let Sonic think what he will. That’s another thing he hadn’t been lying about. Sonic won't move against him until it's too late.

The stupid boy has a hero's heart.

 

 *

 

Orbot and Cubot are waiting for him in the foyer. “Good afternoon, Shadow,” Orbot says. “How’s the mission going?”

“Tremendously,” he responds coldly. “Where’s the doctor?”

“Dr. Eggman is occupied. We’ve been instructed to escort you to the medical bay.”

“Fine.”

They lead the way. Shadow follows without resistance or complaint. Orbot punches in the keycode, then rolls backward, gesturing cordially. “After you.”

Shadow takes his usual spot on the table. It’s tall enough so that when he sits, his feet dangle above the floor. They scan his vitals and ask him the usual questions. He keeps his answers succinct. He’s never had much respect, nor patience, for service-bots.

In the corner of the ceiling, a camera records his every move. Though his acute awareness of it makes his skin crawl, he manages not to glance at it.

The door slides open. Eggman enters, grinning. “Well, well. Look who decided to show up.”

“Of course," Shadow evenly replies. "You have me under your control.”

“Your most recent behavior would beg to differ. Fortunately, we can fix that.”

Shadow keeps his face a mask, though his heart is hammering. “This is pointless. I’ve been loyal to you. There can be no one on earth less in need of discipline than me.”

“Just shut up and lie down. I’m a busy man, and you’re by no means the only item on my agenda today.”

Shadow has no choice. He lies back, focusing his gaze on the ceiling. “These schemes of yours have such a low success rate,” he can’t stop himself from muttering. “I don’t know why you bother anymore.”

“I’m not like you, Shadow.” Eggman circles the table, fastening Shadow’s limbs into the leather restraints. “I have ambition. Perhaps that’s another thing we should look into fixing.” He turns towards a small table filled with surgical tools. To Shadow’s alarm, he picks up a syringe. “For now, though, I’ll settle for quelling that rebelliousness of yours.”

Shadow can’t take his eyes off the needle, its sharp metal point glinting in the light. “I told you, there’s no need for this.”

“This formula isn’t fully tested, but don’t worry. If it doesn’t work, I have plenty more.”

“But I haven’t rebelled at all! I’m ready to move forward with phase two. If you let me go, I can begin immediately.”

“Now, now, just relax. There will be plenty of time for phase two as soon as we’re done here.”

Shadow has begun to sweat. “I’m sorry, okay? It was a mistake. I won’t do it again.”

He flinches as the needle sinks into his neck. Eggman pauses with his finger on the plunger, relishing the moment. “I know.”

The door slides open. Eggman jumps, startled, and looks up. Sonic stands there, arms folded, unsmiling. “That’s enough.”

Shadow cranes his neck to see, his eyes wide. “Sonic?”

“Are you all right, Shadow?”

“I’m fine, but—”

“Let him go, Eggman.”

“Hedgehog.” Eggman doesn’t move. “How did you get in? What about my security system?”

“I said let him go.” Sonic steps forward, but before he can do anything else, Eggman squeezes the plunger. Shadow flinches as the agent is injected into his system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays lol


	14. Wednesday, Thursday

Sonic kicks Eggman in the face, sending him reeling backward. The needle slips from his hand and shatters on the floor. 

Shadow stares at Sonic, torn between resentment and gratitude, as he undoes the restraints. "You shouldn't be here."

Sonic smiles and winks. "Is that any way to thank me?"

Shadow hesitates. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but somehow, he can't bring himself to say them. Sonic isn't paying attention, anyway. He undoes the final restraint and, taking Shadow's hand, pulls him to his feet. "Come on."

They run for the exit. The alarm begins to blare. Along the walls on either side of them, panels slide open to release security drones. Fending them off is no problem at first, but after a minute Sonic hears a thud and, turning around, sees that Shadow has fallen unconscious. 

"Shadow!"

Sonic drops to his knees and shakes him. No response. Meanwhile, their enemies are bearing down on them. If they don't leave now, they'll be overrun.

Sonic seizes Shadow's arms and drags him up, grunting from the effort. Somehow, he manages to lift him onto his back. He's listless, eyes closed, unmoving. "Hold on," Sonic tells him. 

With a grunt, he leaps up, landing on the face of the nearest drone. Its weapon goes off, riddling the walls with bullets, but Sonic is easily out of the line of fire. He jumps from robot to robot, making his way to the exit until, finally, he's back on solid ground.

Once the coast is clear, he runs. He doesn’t look back, and he doesn’t slow down until they reach the minimal safe distance. Carefully, he lays Shadow down on the ground, then presses an ear to his chest. 

“Ngh.” 

Sonic’s eyes go wide. He pulls back. “Shadow?” 

Shadow stirs, rolls over onto his side. His eyes are shut tightly, his muscles rigid. Sonic shakes him. “Shadow, snap out of it!”

Shadow doesn’t seem to hear him. He stays curled in a ball, quivering, every so often moaning in pain. A quick check of his pulse yields alarming results. Sonic hesitates, then gets up, activating his watch. “Tails, come in. We have an emergency.” 

“Sonic? Where are you? We were supposed to meet at Meh Burger at—” 

“Shadow’s hurt. I need you to meet me at your place now.” Tails starts to respond, but Sonic cuts him off. “No questions. Just do it, okay?” 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there in five.” 

 

*

 

The terrors last all evening and most of the night. It’s been so long since the last time, Shadow had forgotten how bad they can be. Eggman really dialed the hurt up to an eleven, right out of the gate. It makes him wonder what may have happened if Sonic hadn't shown up to save his skin. 

All this, and for what? One little kiss? If Shadow doubted it before, he doesn't anymore. It wasn't worth it. Not by a long shot.

He rests his forehead on the toilet rim, panting. The vomiting seems to have reached its conclusion, as have the worst of the shakes. He's not seeing demons anymore.

The sound of voices travels through the door. 

“But what was he doing at Eggman’s in the first place?”

"I don't know. He must've gotten captured."

"That doesn't make sense and you know it."

"There's no other explanation."

"Oh, yeah? Well, if you're so sure, then why can't we tell Amy or Knuckles or—"

"No!" Sonic's voice rises. "We can't tell anyone. I mean it, Tails."

"He's working for Eggman. We have to do something."

"He's not."

"Sonic—"

"Shh."

The house goes silent. Footsteps approach the bathroom. There’s a knock on the door. 

"Shadow? Are you okay?"

Shadow doesn't move, doesn’t say anything. 

"Can I come in?" 

Silence.

"Well, just come on out when you're ready. We're right here if you need us." 

Shadow waits until the footsteps move away from the door to pull himself to his feet. It’s pitch dark. Through the window, the midnight sky is deep blue and starry. He gazes at himself in the mirror, but can’t make out much more than his outline, the glint of his scarlet eyes. He wants to check out the mark on his neck, see if it’s visible, but he refuses to turn on the light.

He feels dizzy, feverish, and impossibly thirsty. Instead of turning on the tap, he sits back down, puts his back to the door, and rests his head in his knees. Before long, he’s asleep.

 

*

 

What feels like a minute later, daylight is shining through the window. He sits up. A blanket falls away from him. Someone must have put it there while he was sleeping. He must have really been out of it, not to have woken up.

Tails is waiting for him in the living room, a cup of tea in his hand. He’s not smiling, but nothing about him is hostile, either. Mostly, he just looks curious.

“How are you feeling?”

Shadow grunts in reply, putting a hand to his face. His head is splitting. Tails watches him sympathetically.

“The injection you were given was meant to cause pain and hallucinations,” he explains. “You won’t feel like yourself for a while, but you won’t die.” He puts the tea down on the coffee table. “Why don’t you sit down? You spent the whole night on the bathroom floor. That can’t’ve been comfortable.”

“Why are you helping me?”

Tails shrugs, sitting down. “Sonic trusts you. He asked for my help. And you needed it.”

Shadow eyes him suspiciously. Tails smiles.

“Wanna watch TV?” He picks up the remote. “We told everyone you have the flu. Amy’s gonna come by later with chicken soup— probably by the barrel.”

Chicken soup actually doesn’t sound that bad. Shadow hasn’t eaten since the day before. Still, he folds his arms, refusing to relax just yet.

“Where’s Sonic?”

“Went for a run. He would have waited for you to wake up, but you know him. He gets restless.” Tails clicks on the TV and switches to some cartoon show. Shadow watches him, stricken once again by just how much he looks like a little kid.

He is a little kid.

Shadow sits down. A moment passes. Then he says, "thank you."

Tails shrugs. "It was nothing."

"I know you don't trust me. I wouldn’t trust me, either, if I was you."

Tails is silent. Shadow feels shitty for what he's about to do, but he has no choice. Eggman reminded him of that. And Tails always has been such a nuisance, anyway. 

The truth is, he's been looking forward to this for a while. 

"You worked for Eggman in the past, too," Shadow says. Tails looks startled, but doesn't respond. "I know you found the Ark files,” Shadow continues. “I know you showed them to everyone."

"You were our enemy back then. I didn't have any reason to keep your secrets."

"You should have known better. You're smart." Shadow grins at him, making his blood run cold. "Aren't you?"

"I guess. Why are you bringing this up now?"

Shadow shrugs, turning back to the TV. It’s silent for a minute or two. Then Tails gets up. “I need to... do something. I’ll be right back.” 

“I thought we were watching TV.” 

“We are. I’ll be right back.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“I just— I have to do something.” 

“Why? We were just starting to have fun.” 

Tails ignores him, but he’s scarcely reached the door when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Shadow spins him around so they’re face-to-face. Tails tries to back away, but his back meets the door with a solid thud. He’s trapped, and even in his diminished state, Shadow is very much capable of hurting him. They both know that.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Shadow says. “It’s nothing personal.” 

“Are you going to kill me?” 

“Come on. Use that big brain of yours.” 

Tails’s thoughts race. He can’t run. Shadow would catch him. He could scream for help, but no one would hear, and even if they did, as long as they weren’t Sonic, they wouldn’t stand a chance against Shadow, anyway. His eyes flick to his communicator. As if reading his thoughts, Shadow smiles, takes his wrist, and squeezes. Tails cringes as his watch is crushed in a shower of blue sparks and broken glass. When Shadow lets him go, he clutches his arm to his chest, stifling the urge to cry out. It’s fractured, if not broken.

He looks up at Shadow with big, pleading eyes. “Why are you doing this?” 

“Shut up.” Shadow sweeps him off his feet without warning, kicks open the door like it’s nothing. “Hang on tight.” 

Tails throws his uninjured arm around Shadow’s neck just as they blast off the ground. It happens so quickly there’s no way for him to stop it.


	15. Thursday

To say that Tails used to work for Eggman, at least to the extent Shadow had been implying when he raised the subject— that is to say, the same extent Shadow is currently— is an overstatement. Tails had done it to make his friends jealous. Unlike Shadow, he hadn’t been trying to hurt anyone.

It’s not a fair comparison. That’s all.

 

*

 

The second they land, Tails starts to fight, kicking his legs and striking Shadow in the face. “Put me down!”

Amused, Shadow releases him. Tails tries to run, but doesn’t make it ten steps before a pair of security drones appears. They lock both his arms into grips of steel, and no matter how he struggles, he can’t break free.

A door opens. Dr. Eggman emerges, followed by Cubot and Orbot. “Well, look who it is. Shadow the Hedgehog.”

“Doctor Robotnik.” Shadow takes his soldier’s stance, rigid and unsmiling. “Phase two has been implemented, as promised.”

“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. Your little escape act upset me greatly.” Eggman strides menacingly forward, hands clasped behind his back, and stops right in front of him. “Give me one good reason not to annihilate you.”

Shadow holds his silence. Eggman studies him. Then he turns to leer at Tails.

“And if it isn’t my good buddy, Tails.”

“I’m not your buddy.”

“Hey, Shadow, what’d you do to his wrist? It looks broken.”

Shadow turns his gaze aside, his tone indifferent. “It couldn’t be helped.”

Tails, meanwhile, is staring in amazement at a shiner on Eggman’s cheek. “What happened to your face?” 

Eggman grits his teeth. “Sonic kicked me.” 

Tails smiles widely, like he’s never heard anything funnier. “Ha!”

Eggman scowls, then addresses his drones. “Take the fox downstairs and initiate protocol eleven. Don’t let him hack into your systems.”

Tails’s smile disappears. “Wait. What’s protocol eleven? Hey— let me go!” His cries bounce off the walls until they’re too far away to be heard. Shadow is careful not to sound too concerned when he asks, “what are you going to do with him?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out. For now, though—” Shadow stiffens in surprise as Eggman pats him on the cheek. “Good work. You’re off the hook.”

Shadow tries to sound more confident, less sick, than he feels. “I have to go.”

“Very well. I’ll be expecting your report at eight o’clock sharp.”

 

*

 

Granted, the island’s climate is perfect, and yes, pretty much everyone on it is friends with each other (aside from the villains, of course), so the odds of burglary are slim. But that doesn’t make it any less strange that Tails apparently decided to leave his door wide open. It sways idly on its hinges, pushed by the breeze, as Sonic pokes his head into all the rooms, calling, “Tails, buddy, I’m back!”

No one replies. The house is empty.

He frowns. Tails had promised to keep an eye on Shadow while he was gone. How could he just flake like this?

Then again, maybe they went somewhere together. It’s not impossible. Shadow was in bad shape the last time Sonic saw him— eyes unseeing, unresponsive to words or touch— but that was hours ago. Maybe he got better. They could have gone for a walk. Sonic is about to go look for them when a noise at his back calls his attention.

He turns around. There’s no one there, but the closet catches his eye. He crosses the room and opens it, peering curiously into the darkness.

Curled up on the floor, half-hidden beneath a blanket, is Shadow.

"Go away,” he murmurs without looking up.

“Shadow? What are you doing in there?”

“The light hurts my eyes.”

“Where’s Tails?”

“How should I know?”

Sonic stares down at him for a moment, silent. He’s as pale as a ghost, his eyes rimmed with pronounced circles. Sonic hesitates, then gets in the closet, closes the door, and sits down. It’s dark and quiet, like a cave. He leans against the wall, hugs his knees to his chest and waits for his eyes to adjust. “Are you okay?”

Shadow doesn’t answer. Sonic studies him. “Sooner or later, you have to talk to me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Silence. Sonic sighs in frustration. He’s giving this everything he has, but if Shadow doesn’t start cooperating, then it’s all been for nothing.

Just the thought of it makes him desperate.

“I’m sorry I followed you,” Sonic says, though how backwards it is to aplogize for saving his friend’s life doesn’t escape him. It’s the only thing he can think of that Shadow might want to hear. “I was worried, okay?”

“Don’t be. I can take care of myself.”

“Can you? I told Tails you were captured, but we all know that’s not true. You handed yourself over. I watched you do it.” He falters. “You let Eggman hurt you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You locked yourself in the closet.”

“I just needed a minute.”

“Why don’t you trust me?” Shadow doesn’t say anything. Sonic’s heart hammers as he takes a stab in the dark. “You’ll kiss me, but you won’t talk to me?”

Shadow shifts just slightly. It looks like he’s trying to sit up. Then the weakness sets in, and he sinks back down again, exhaling deeply. “Fuck.”

“Shadow,” Sonic says, then trails off. He hesitates, then moves over, pulling Shadow’s torso into his lap without asking permission. Shadow resists, shoving him— “get off” —but Sonic is stubborn. He rests his chin on Shadow’s head, closes his eyes. “I wish you weren’t so headstrong.”

Shadow falters, then stops struggling. He mutters, “that’s rich coming from you.” 

“So you admit we’re not so different.” 

Shadow is quiet. Then, begrudgingly, he relaxes. “Five minutes. Then you leave me alone.” 

“Want me to sing you a song?” 

“I’m not a baby.” 

Sonic turns his head, feeling the smooth black quills graze against his cheek, and gazes into the darkness. “I could protect you, y’know. You just have to let me.” 

“I don’t need protecting.” 

Devoid of the energy to lie convincingly, Shadow can scarcely bring himself to care whether Sonic believes him or not.

He wouldn’t bet on it, though.


	16. Saturday

Over the next few days, Sonic is as unsettled as anyone’s ever seen him. He’s always been hyperactive, but now the capacity to focus even for a moment seems to have abandoned him completely. He runs here, runs there, picks up a task, puts it down half-finished, and goes back to fretting about Tails.

“Did you check with that girl he used to date?” Shadow asks, scrunching his nose because, act aside, he legitimately can’t remember. “What was her name?” 

“Zooey. And no luck.” Sonic flops backward on the bed. “I can’t believe he’s still mad at me.” 

“It’s my fault.” 

“Shadow, no. Don’t even say that.” 

“I don’t want to come between the two of you. If he doesn’t want me around, I’ll leave.”

Reverse psychology tends to work wonders on Sonic, who seldom thinks twice. Shadow isn’t surprised when he jumps up. 

“You’re not going anywhere. Tails is just gonna have to get used to you.” 

Shadow gives him a dry look. “He hated me so much he left.” 

“He’ll be back. We may not see eye to eye on this, but he’s my best friend. He needs me.” And I need him, Sonic doesn’t add, because badass superheroes don’t need anyone. But he’d say it if he could.

He hesitates, then zips across the room. Shadow is reclined on the chair, legs draped over the armrest, doing his best to appear nonchalant. The truth is, he’s been having a hell of a time preventing Sonic from finding out what he did.

“Whatcha got there?” Sonic asks.

“Hamlet.” 

“Read to me?” 

Shadow complies, but only because he knows Sonic will bore within a few minutes. Which he does, just not in a way Shadow would describe as ideal. “Why did you kiss me that one time?” 

“Ugh. This again?”

Sonic shrugs, not looking at him. For the millionth time that week, Shadow finds himself placed on the spot, struggling behind a paper-blank face to concoct some sort of reasonable answer. “We were messing around. I got carried away.” 

“I wish you would do it again.”

Shadow is taken aback. That’s not the answer he usually gets. Usually, it’s “you can say that again” or “seems like a bit of a stretch” or “I didn’t even know you liked boys.” 

“Do what again?” he asks, idiotically, because he’s sweating and can’t think of anything else. 

Sonic shrugs but doesn’t say anything. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he wears a downward-aimed pout that is both adorable and passive-aggressive, and that Shadow doesn’t appreciate any more than the fact that it’s working. He’s melting like ice, and the tension between them is like a drawn bow. Just don’t look at him, he repeats to himself. Just don’t look at him.

Finally, Sonic gets up. He’s clearly disappointed, but all he says is, “see you.” 

“See you.” Shadow tries to keep the relief from showing in his voice. It’s not until he's is gone that he puts the book down. For the past few minutes, he’d only been pretending to read.

 

*

 

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He's not certain what he wanted it to be like the day he finally confessed his feelings for the foolish, darling boy, but sure as fuck it was never supposed to happen like this. 

If at all. That’s another thing. If it was ever to happen at all, which he’s still not the least bit convinced it should, given how okay he’s been doing thus far regarding ignoring his feelings/transforming them into something they weren’t, really 

(hate)

in order to hide such an embarrassing, destructive weakness as being head-over-heels in love

(although, when he’s honest, there’s still plenty to hate about Sonic, hidden feelings or no— that smug smile, the fact that he always, always wins)

certainly, regardless of anything else, never in a million years could he have predicted that their stupid, sorry excuse for a relationship might turn out to be so disappointing. For all that he may be frustrating, for all that he may be insufferable, Sonic has never once been disappointing. He’s always been smiles and excitement and carpe diem and adventures and challenges and friends and foes and life. All this and more he’s been before, but disappointing? Never. 

Until now, that is, but to be fair, that’s not even Sonic’s fault. It’s (surprise, surprise) Eggman’s. 

“What do you mean, use it against him?” 

“I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.” Eggman has an arm around him, holding him uncomfortably close, and now he sweeps his other arm wide in an arcing gesture of can’t-you-just-picture-it. “Your foolish error is going to be the key to our victory.”

“I can’t.” 

“You can and you will. In fact, it’s the least you can do, after all I’ve done for you.” 

“Please don’t make me do this.” 

“Don’t be a baby. What’s the matter with you?” Eggman frowns in mingled annoyance and confusion. “You’re Shadow the Hedgehog. What did you expect? That the two of you would actually end up together? Get married? Live happily ever after? Give me a break.” 

Shadow sinks to his knees and puts his head in his hands. Eggman stares at him, startled. He’s never seen him like this. Furious, yes. Bloodthirsty, yes. Devastated? The strength, every last drop of defiance, sucked from him like it was nothing? Never.

He hesitates, then strokes his head, gently, affectionately, as if comforting a child. 

“Come on. Once we’re rid of him, we’ll be the most powerful beings in the world. I know you, Shadow. I know you want that.”

Shadow doesn’t answer, doesn’t even move. Eggman pets him idly for a while, amused. “We’ll find you someone else. A different pretty boy. How’s that sound?”

It’s practically a joke. As if anyone in the world could replace Sonic.

“I can’t,” Shadow whispers, hating himself for showing such weakness, but he sees so few outcomes where things end well, he can’t find his willpower. “Please, you must reconsider.”

Eggman’s tone hardens. “This isn’t up for debate. I want results within the week or I’ll make up for being so nice to you, and then some.” Here he slides his hand down to cup Shadow’s chin and squeeze it tightly, making him flinch— not so much from fear or pain, but just from the sting of being reminded he has no choice. 

Although being treated— manhandled— like a possession, a mere object, the way Eggman’s taken to doing more and more lately, certainly doesn’t help.


	17. Sunday

"You need to go to dinner with me."

To be fair, his sense of urgency isn’t unfounded. It just doesn’t occur to him that maybe he should try striking a different tone. Cute. Flirtatious. Romantic, perhaps. Romantic would be great. 

Sonic stares at him, baffled, half smiling, but not in a good way. "Excuse me?"

"Tonight. We're going out. I have to talk to you in private."

Sonic rolls his eyes and turns away. "That's how you ask?"

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, Shadow, I want to and all, but you're gonna have to do better than that."

Shadow has to grab his arm to stop him from running off. "Wait. You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?"

"There's something I have to tell you."

Sonic glances at his arm, locked in Shadow's grip. When he sighs, Shadow can see the disappointment in his face, the resignation that Shadow will never learn to be more than this: cold, aloof.

Shadow falters, then puts his hands on Sonic’s shoulders, gently, and looks him in the eyes. "Will you please come to dinner with me?"

It's not such a big improvement, but it's better than nothing. Still, Sonic seems reluctant.

"I don't know."

"Why not? I like you, and you like me. This is the next obvious step."

Sonic gives him a withering look. "Are you kidding me?"

"What?"

Sonic smacks his hands away and steps back. "That's how you confess your feelings? Why do you even bother?"

Shadow turns red. "Well, we both know it's true, so what's the point in saying it? Just go out with me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I’m not interested."

"But I have to tell you—"

"I'm not interested." 

Shadow stares after him as he runs away. What the fuck? That wasn't what was supposed to happen at all. 

 

*

 

“He’s just playing hard to get.” Knuckles’s immediate, know-it-all response, to which Amy rolls her eyes.

“No, he’s not. Shadow’s just too undemonstrative.” 

Shadow rubs his temples, scarcely able to contain his temper. “I said I liked him.” 

“Well, would it have killed you to bring some flowers?” 

“I think he’s playing hard to get,” Knuckles repeats. Amy sighs, moves her piece on the checkerboard. 

“I wish Tails was here. He knows Sonic better than anyone.” 

Long accustomed stifling his reaction to any mention of Tails, Shadow asks, “well, since he’s not, what should I do?” 

“I’ll whip up a love spell if you want,” Sticks offers. Shadow manages to keep from yelling at her. Sonic’s friends are so useless sometimes. 

“Fuck it,” he says. “I’m gonna go look for him.” 

“He’s probably at Eggman’s.” 

Shadow feels a twinge of alarm. “Again? He’s gonna get himself hurt.” 

“He’ll be fine. Just disappointed. He still thinks Eggman had something to do with Tails disappearing.” 

Again, Shadow manages to look annoyed and disinterested rather than guilty. “We searched Eggman’s five times. The fox isn’t there.” 

“He could be, though,” Knuckles says, grinning intelligently as Amy captures five of his pieces in a row. “We know for sure Eggman has like, a billion secret passageways. He could have hidden Tails in any one of them.” 

“Don’t be stupid,” Amy snaps, saving Shadow the trouble of having to do it himself. “If Eggman attacked him, he would have called for help on his communicator. Obviously, he just wanted a little distance from Shadow. No offense,” she adds, looking at him. 

“I don’t care.” 

“Well, anyway, can you go make sure Sonic doesn’t do anything stupid? His judgement gets worse than usual when Tails is in danger.” 

He’s not in danger, Shadow almost says, if not for that it would sound too suspicious. So, “whatever,” he scoffs, then leaves.

 

*

 

Shadow intercepts him just before the property line, tackles him around the waist and knocks him off his path. They tumble and roll downhill, kicking, clawing, and punching, until they stop, Sonic underneath and Shadow on top.

“What are you doing?”

“Get off me. I’m looking for Tails.”

“He’s not here.”

Sonic is quiet. Then he shoves both knees hard into Shadow’s gut, catching him by surprise. Shadow rolls off and, just like that, Sonic is on top of him, pinning him down.

“Ha!” He grins, like it’s all a game. Shadow turns red and struggles.

“Get off!”

“Now you know how it feels.”

“Let me go!” Shadow struggles ferociously. Sonic puts all his strength into holding him down. It’s no use; he breaks free. Sonic jumps back, and they square off, panting.

“You’re being childish,” Shadow says, breaking the silence. “I have to talk to you. It’s important.”

“Not now. I’m busy.”

“Trust me. You need to hear what I have to say.”

“I said no. Now, if you’re not gonna help look for Tails—”

I know where he is. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but in broad daylight, with Eggman still monitoring him, he can’t say it.

Instead, he’s silent. Sonic looks at him for a long time, then sighs. “Just leave me alone.”

“Sonic—” Shadow hesitates. “Fine. I’ll help you. But you have to promise we’re going to sit down and talk after.”

“Talk about what?”

Shadow says nothing. Sonic gives in.

“He improved his defenses. We’ll need to be sneaky.”

“Let's go.”


	18. Last thursday through this sunday

“An hour, max.”

That’s what Tails said, probably feeling less confident than he was pretending to be, as they hooked him up to the machines. Whether or not they could understand him, being mere robots, he wasn’t sure, but he talked anyway, if only to try and convince himself it was true. An hour, max, and Sonic would come rescue him.

As it turned out, he was right. Of course, he didn’t find out until much, much later in the evening, when Eggman told him about it. He had to really concentrate in order to listen, because all the different tests and procedures had left him dazed and a bit silly. The shock of learning he wasn’t going to be rescued, after all, didn’t help matters.

“You should have seen it. Those vermin friends of yours burst straight through my wall, demanding to know what I’d done with you. Turned the place upside-down. Luckily, this level can only be accessed through a secret passage.”

“They’ll be back.” Tails’s vision is blurry, so he directs his gaze towards where he thinks Eggman is standing, which, incidentally, isn’t where he is at all. “They’re going to rescue me.”

“Don’t hold your breath. This little project I have in store for you is scheduled for completion in a week or two, tops. They’ll never find you in time.”

“What are you planning?”

“Don’t worry. Relax. How do you like your room?”

“I can’t see.”

Tails flinches and instinctively starts to struggle when a hand yanks his face to the side and a bright light shines into his eyes. Eggman holds him fast. “Quit fighting,” he mutters. Then, “hmm. Interesting.” The light shuts off. “Your vision will return. If not tonight, then by morning.”

Tails rubs his eyes, then blinks a few times. He feels nauseous and dizzy. He tries to ask a question but gets the distinct feeling his words aren’t coherent.

“Don’t mumble, Tails, it’s very childlike. Now get some rest. Today was just the beginning.”

 

*

 

His vision does come back. He's not ungrateful. The experiments he's forced to endure last all morning and most of the afternoon, but once they're over and they lock him back inside his room, he can read comics and play video games. At least, for the first three days. After he gets bored of them, bored of the limited selection (Mortal Blood Sport II and Mario Kart being the only palatable options), bored of being held prisoner, he takes apart the TV and builds a rudimentary communication device. It works, but Eggman confiscates it at the last second and he never gets to use it.

It's a crushing blow, but he tries not to let it get to him. He still has the comic books, at least. Lobster Johnson and Superman. 

 

*

 

It's always been frustrating to be the smartest out of his group of friends, despite being the youngest, and sure, at times their lack of refined intelligence used to make him want to scream. Like the time Knuckles tried to beat him in a robot-building contest. Or the time Sonic tried to beat him in a racecar-building contest. Or the time... well, all that aside, he's challenged not to resent them when not three, not four, but five separate attempts to save him fail. He feels like hammering on the walls, screaming at the top of his lungs, I'm here! I'm right here!

And maybe he does do that. But they still don't find him. Then Eggman laughs in his face, victorious.

"What did I tell you? Your pathetic friends can't save you this time."

Tails stubbornly says nothing. Eggman pinches his cheek. Tails bats his hand away and glares at him.

"Your stupid plan is going to fail. I've been paying attention to these experiments. You have no clue at all what you're doing!"

"As if you would know, you little brat. Now, keep your nose clean and don't go trying to escape. Only a few hours left."

 

*

 

The sixth and final time Sonic tries to rescue him, Tails is in his room. He's humming a tune, kneeling on the floor with the useless video game console, tossing the unnecessary parts over his shoulder, trying to minimize it down to what he needs. The door slides open. His ears perk up and he turns around.

Shadow stands there, arms folded, scowling. Tails hides the half-dismantled console behind his back.

"Shadow. What are you doing here?"

"You're still alive. That's good."

"This is my room. Go away." Tails falters. "Unless you're here to help me."

"I'm here to check on you."

Tails sits down on the bed, stashing the console beneath the pillow, out of sight. "Are the others okay? You didn't hurt them?"

"They're fine. They don't know where you are, of course."

"Well, what do you think is gonna happen when they find out? They'll never trust you again. Whatever shot at redemption you had is gone now. Or do you even care about that?"

Shadow grins. "Should I?"

"We all thought you could be good if you really tried. I guess you just prefer to be a monster."

Shadow strides towards him. Tails tries to evade, but Shadow grabs him roughly, pins him down on the bed. Tails squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself.

Shadow whispers in his ear.

"I'm going to rescue you, but you can't try to escape or you'll mess things up. Just sit tight and wait, understand?"

Tails's eyes go wide with shock. "Shadow—"

"I mean it. Whatever you do, keep a low profile. I’m going to fix this."

Relief floods Tails's body. He can't suppress a smile. "I knew you were a good guy."

Shadow pulls away from him. To Tails's dismay, he takes the console out from under the pillow, holds it up. "Video games rot your brains. I'll do you a favor and spare you the temptation."

Tails watches him uncertainly. He'd been really close to a breakthrough a minute ago. Shadow is basically holding his last hope of escape in his hands. He doesn't know if, even given the promise of rescue, he's willing to let it go. "Don't," he pleads. "Come on. I need that."

Shadow gives him a meaningful look. "Just remember what I said."

With that, he's gone. Tails is left kneeling on the bed, feeling weak, his arms starting to bruise where Shadow touched him. It takes all his willpower not to look at the ceiling, where he knows the cameras are.

In the end, he decides he can’t wait to be rescued. He’s just going to need to come up with another plan. He likes Shadow and everything, wants to believe him and all that, but, mathematically speaking, the odds he’ll actually come through aren’t great.

It’s just the smart thing to do.


	19. Sunday

By the time Sonic is finished with him, Eggman is rocking not just a week-old shiner, but a split lip, a broken nose, and several cracked ribs. Shadow is stunned. He knew Sonic was losing his patience, but that he would resort to violence to ease his frustration was something he never even considered.

“Sonic.”

Panting, towering over his defeated enemy, Sonic turns to look at him. “He knows,” he says. “He knows where Tails is but he’s not telling.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Shadow takes his arm. Sonic doesn’t resist. They’re almost out the door when Eggman yells after them.

“You’ll pay for this, hedgehog. Mark my words.”

 

*

 

In the harsh light of day, Sonic mopes and kicks at rocks while Shadow stands off to the side, his thoughts racing.

They’re running out of time. Eggman never explicitly told Shadow what his plan was, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out. And yeah, Shadow was subject to the same experiments, but Tails isn’t as resilient as he is, to put it mildly. If something’s not done, there’s no telling what will happen to him.

“Something's off,” Sonic says, breaking the tense silence. “I can feel it.”

“Can we go somewhere private? Remember, you promised we could talk.”

Ignoring him as if he hadn't spoken, Sonic begins to pace, ticking off his fingers. “He’s not in town, he’s not in the jungle, he’s not in the caverns, he’s not in the desert, he’s not with Eggman—”

“You’re working yourself up.”

“He hasn’t been answering his communicator or his phone and he didn’t leave a note anywhere. I looked all over the place.”

“Sonic. You promised we could talk.”

Sonic turns on him, glowering. “Are you even listening?”

“Let’s go back to town.”

“Why? You wanted to talk in private, right?” Sonic gestures pointedly. “What could be more private than the middle of the jungle?”

“Your place.”

“What’s so important, anyway?”

Shadow says nothing. Sonic folds his arms and looks away. “I’d love to help you, but like I said, I’m busy.”

“You promised.”

Sonic doesn’t answer. Shadow steps closer to him, tries to put a comforting hand on his arm, but Sonic pulls away.

"What's phase two?" 

"What?"

"Phase two. I heard you and Eggman talking about it."

Shadow's gut wrenches as he realizes what Sonic is referring to. "That was-"

"The day I rescued you." Sonic cuts him off with a frigid look. "And don't lie."

"What else did you overhear?"

Sonic doesn't respond. Shadow looks over his shoulder, feeling jittery and sick. "We can't discuss this here. We need to go someplace private." 

"Shadow, you know I trust you, right?" Sonic fidgets, then smiles, quaveringly, defensively, involuntarily. "You know that I like you, that I put everything on the line for you, not just my safety, but my friends', too. And if you did anything to hurt them, it's my fault."

"It's not your fault," Shadow says, feeling like an idiot. "Anyway, who said anything about—”

"Because you were the last one to see Tails before he went missing."

"That's—"

"And you've been talking to Eggman. Every night, at eight o'clock, in the bathroom."

Shadow says nothing. Sonic puts his face in his shaking hands.

"That's what you wanted to tell me, right? That it was you?"

Shadow steps back, his head reeling. No. No. No. "I never wanted to. He forced me. He put me to sleep, stuck this device in my head—"

"I'm so fucking stupid." Sonic's eyes well up with tears. "I let this happen. Oh my god, Tails. Is he even still alive?"

"He's—” Shadow hesitates, then cringes for allowing himself to hesitate. "He's alive, yes."

"You have to help me save him. This is your fault. You have to fix it."

"I know."

Silence descends. Sonic raises his voice. “Well? What are we gonna do?”

“I’m thinking.” 

“How could you do this to us? How do you _sleep_ at night?” 

“Keep your voice down.” 

“He’s been missing for eleven days. You’re telling me he’s been stashed away in some secret tunnel this whole time? Fuck it, I’m going back.” 

“Wait.” 

Sonic spins around, angrier than Shadow’s ever seen him. “What?” 

Shadow tries to think of something to say. He could apologize. As if now was a good time. He could tell him where Tails is, what he suspects Eggman is plotting to do with him. That’d be very helpful. 

Instead, he mumbles something half-coherent as his grasp of English suddenly deteriorates to nothing, his mind turning to mush as his eyes roll back into his head. As he sinks to his knees, he hears Sonic cry his name.

Then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0


	20. Three weeks later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone who may have been hoping for a happier turn of events. Also for how... confusing... this probably is @-@

It’s easy to tell when the eye is malfunctioning. When it malfunctions, he can’t see. When he can’t see, he can’t work. When he can’t work, he gets frustrated, turns moody, lies down in uncomfortable places and refuses to get up until it stutters back to life again. But sometimes, being the shoddy piece of craftmanship that it is, the eye doesn’t do so for a really long time. Then his bad mood gets worse and worse. He breaks things (only to cry over their remains when he turns lucid again) and stubbornly refuses to eat. 

When this happens, Shadow is usually the one to calm him down. And Sonic hates his guts for it. Tails was always his best friend, his sidekick, his brother. And Shadow, well, Shadow was the one who did this to him in the first place. But, for reasons Sonic lacks the capacity to understand, not only does Tails not resent Shadow for what he did, he actually seems to like him more now than he used to.

Which is whatever, which is _fine_. Because Sonic can resent him more than enough for two people, anyway.

 

*

 

He stops dead, his sneakers making long skid marks on the floor, when the screen drops down from the ceiling to present Eggman’s big, glowering face. 

“Back so soon, eh?” 

Sonic points at him, his chest heaving with anger. “Shadow came clean. I know you have Tails. Now, where is he?” 

“Oh, believe me, I _know_  what Shadow did. Why do you think I had him terminated? As for your little fox friend...”

He pauses to wipe sweat from his shiny bald head. 

“Listen, hedgehog,” he says, his tone quavering with unmistakable stress. “I’ll level with you.” 

“There’s blood on your glasses.” 

“What? Oh.” 

Somic narrows his eyes. “I cannot express how much you’re going to regret it if you killed my best friend.” 

“I didn’t do it on purpose. These things happen, you know. Science is tricky and these experiments were never exactly what you’d call ‘orthodox.’ Really, you should be blaming Tails for having such a flimsy constitution.” 

“You have a bad sense of humour.” 

“What, you think I’m joking? Hah! I wish. Listen, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll allow you to collect his remains. Just consider yourself lucky Orbot hasn’t taken the trash out yet or I wouldn’t even bother.” 

“You have a bad sense of humour.” 

“Didn’t I just—? Ugh, you children never listen. Read my lips, hedgehog. Tails is gone. Deceased. An accident, but... well, nevertheless.”

Sonic takes a step back, his head swimming. “No.” 

“You think I’m any happier about this than you are? This wasn’t how I expected things to pan out at all. Now, why don’t you just scram? We’ll call this one even— I think that’s fair.” 

“How is that fair?” 

“You don’t like it, take it up with my security system. Otherwise, get out!” 

“You’re a monster and you’re lying. Tell me what you did with Tails.” 

“Like I said: you want his body? It’s all yours.” 

A section of the wall to Sonic’s left slides open, revealing a hidden passage.

“Just take it and get out,” Eggman continues, but Sonic isn’t listening anymore. He follows the passage as Eggman’s voice echoes behind him, growing fainter and fainter with each step. “I’m in no mood to fight right now. This lab is all a mess, there’s blood everywhere, these tiles are ruined, I’ll have to have them replaced... Christ, what a hassle.”

It’s dark in the passage. With every step he takes, a ceiling fixture flickers to life. He catches the scent of blood, mixed with that of titanium and— he sniffs, frowning— motor oil. His shoe squishes in something wet. He stops. 

The next light flickers on. He stumbles back, feeling faint. If he hadn’t put his hand on the wall to steady himself, he would have fallen.

 

*

 

Tails yanks a sheet down over his latest project as soon as he sees Sonic coming, then hides his face in a mess of blueprints. Sonic hazards a smile, holds out a prescription bottle and shakes it like a rattle. “Pills.” 

“No.” 

“Come on, pal. I know you don’t want another headache.” 

“I really need to finish this.” 

“Doctor’s orders.” 

As Tails takes his medicine with a cup of juice, Sonic tries to get a peek under the sheet. “Whatcha workin’ on?” 

Tails scowls, wiping his mouth. “Top secret.” 

“Aren’t you sick of being cooped up in here? You haven’t seen daylight in weeks.” For all that he tries, Sonic can’t keep the worry out of his voice, nor the impatience. “I don’t have anyone to play volleyball with.” 

“You have lots of people. Just leave me alone.” 

“But you’re my best friend.” He forces the most pathetic of fake smiles. “What, are you mad at me or something?” 

Tails gives him a cold look. “Go away!”

He’s in one of his moods. It’s obvious, and Sonic knows he’s supposed to let it wear off. Then, maybe, in a while, Tails will be up for a game of checkers or possibly even a movie. But Sonic can’t bring himself to leave. Some idiotic part of him believes that, with the right amount of prodding, Tails can be snapped out of it, reverted to the way he used to be. Then everything will be okay again. 

He reaches out and takes his hand, pulls him in, ignoring his reluctant squirming, and hugs him. “Can you quit being such a grouch? I know my best friend’s in there somewhere. I’d like to talk to him, please.” 

“Let me go!” Tails hits him repeatedly. It hurts. Sonic doesn’t let go. 

“Please, Tails. I miss you. I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” 

“Let me go!” 

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with you!” 

“Sonic!” 

They stop struggling with each other and turn their heads. Shadow is walking towards them, his expression frighteningly calm. “Sonic, that’s enough,” he says, gently, but firmly. “Let him go.” 

Sonic is frozen. “I was just—”

Shadow doesn’t let him finish. “I know, but you’re scaring him. Let him go.” 

As soon as Sonic releases him, Tails runs to Shadow and hugs him. Sonic doesn’t say anything, just looks away, scowling to hide the fact that his eyes are stinging. 

 

*

 

No matter how hard he tries, there’s just no use denying it. Tails is a different person now. Maybe he hadn’t literally died, the way he thought at first, the way Eggman had told him because he really was convinced

(all that blood, the whole bit with the “no heartbeat” and the “not breathing”)

but with that damn implant in his head, the creepy, wrong-colored eye, he may as well have. He stays locked up in his workshop, building who knows what, all his past creations destroyed, beaten to death with a pipe wrench. Like the days when he used to nickname them, talk to them, praise them as if they were alive, as if they were his children, never even happened. 

And every now and then, increasingly frequently since yesterday, he gives Sonic a certain look

(with that eye, the wrong color)

that makes Sonic wonder, a shiver running down his spine, what he’d do to him with a pipe wrench, given the chance. 


	21. Three weeks later again, i.e. three weeks and one day later

"Hey."

Sonic scowls at the ground, mumbling into his knees. "I don't want to talk to you."

Shadow sits next to him, anyway. The waves crash as the sun dips below the horizon, turning the sky orange and pink.

"I know what you want me to say." Shadow breaks the silence, not looking at him. 

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"I'm sorry."

The way he says it, Sonic can tell he's being sincere. He sighs. "What for? None of this was your idea."

"I tried to tell you."

"Yeah, well, too little, too late." That was harsh. He softens his tone. "How's your head?"

"It's fine." Shadow hesitates. "I was thinking. If you wanted, I could leave. The only reason I joined your team was to be a spy. It's probably better if I go."

"You don't have to."

"You're too nice for your own good. Your friends, too. Amy keeps..." Shadow flushes pink, dropping his voice to a mumble. "She keeps telling me it wasn't my fault. She still believes I'm a good person, deep down inside."

"You are."

"Don't be stupid."

They look at each other. After a moment, they both smile. Then Sonic turns serious, looking out towards the sea again.

"I'm gonna fix him," he says.

Shadow misses a beat, like he isn't sure whether he should say this next bit or not. "You know he's building Egg tech."

Sonic snorts. "So? What's he gonna do with it? He's _Tails_."

"Well, you won't fight him. I think Eggman knew that when he

(turned him into a monster)

planned this."

"I won't have to fight him. I'll just send him to his room. He's eight. He's not gonna hurt me or anyone." Sonic buries his face in his knees. "Fuck. This is definitely the most fucked up thing Egghead has ever done."

A pause. "I don't know if you can fix him."

No pause. "I have to try."

A really long pause. "Y'know, that thing." Shadow puts a hand to his face, as if he's already regretting the words that have yet to leave his mouth. "That wasn't a spy thing. That was real."

It takes Sonic a moment to realize he's talking about the kiss. Then he gives him a weird look, some of his annoyance returning. "You really think I'm worried about that right now?"

Shadow looks like he wants to punch himself. "I just wanted you to know."

"Thanks." Sonic rolls his eyes and gets up. "I'm going in."

"Fuck," Shadow mutters, once Sonic is out of earshot. He involuntarily touches a hand to his eye, the cyborg-eye that is now part of a matching set. It hadn't succeeded in killing him, the way it was supposed to. He doesn't know why.

It was never fully explained to him, the eye. All he knew, the whole time, was that it could detonate at any moment.

Tails's eye must be at least somewhat similar to his. 

The mere notion gives him all kinds of things to worry about.


	22. Three weeks and three days

“Ten thousand units."

"No."

"Twelve thousand units."

"No!"

Eggman just won't drop it. He calls him on his phone, follows him around town. Whenever Sonic threatens him, he leaves, only to pop up again later. He's relentless.

"Tails is my greatest success to date," he raves. "You must hand him over to me. It's not fair you get to keep him! After all the work I put in— can't you let me have something nice, just this once?"

"Tails is my best friend. I'll never hand him over to you. And whatever freaky science thing you did to him, I'm gonna find a way to undo it. So, there!"

"You ungracious, degenerate, vermin—"

"Leave!" Sonic turns around and hurls his chili dog at him. It bounces harmlessly off the windshield. Eggman growls.

"Y'know, I don't have to be so diplomatic about it. If I want, I could just take him."

"Oh, yeah? How? Shadow's on our side now, and any robots you send our way, I'll obliterate."

"Mark my words, hedgehog. You're going to be sorry you didn't hand him over when you had the chance. This is my last offer: fifty thousand units." He grins. "Come on. You can use it to buy more of those videographic television games you and your little pals are so fond of."

Sonic doesn't bother answering this time. He spin attacks Eggman over the horizon.

 

*

 

He bursts into the workshop without knocking. Tails does his usual hurried sheet toss, followed up with the usual guilt-riddled, caught-red-handed face, but Sonic doesn't humor him this time. 

"I know what you've been up to."

"No, I haven’t."

"You need to go find Shadow. I'm gonna take care of all this."

Tails throws his arms wide, protecting his work. "You can't destroy them! They're mine! Please, I... I can't let you!"

"Just go find Shadow. Everything's gonna be okay. I swear to you."

"No!"

"Get out of here, Tails."

"Why?"

"Tails—" 

“You're a monster! You're going to kill my inventions and then you're going to kill me!"

Sonic sighs, rolls his eyes. It's about the millionth time Tails has said that to him, or at least, something along those lines. He should be hurt, but at this time, he's just used to it. Insults repeated lose their edge. "Just get out."

Tails finally seems to realize he doesn't have a choice. He runs past Sonic, shoving him hard. Sonic glances at him, then turns to look at the machines. Egg-tech. Just as Shadow had told him. Really, why is he surprised?

Well, Tails was right about one thing.

He rips them apart.

 

*

 

Shadow isn't inside. Tails's heart sinks. He could be anywhere. His hands start to shake, and what's worse, his right eye vision suddenly goes dark. Like a light switching off— boom. Just like that. He hates it when it does that. 

Before he can begin to hyperventilate, he hears a familiar voice.

"Tails."

He turns. It's Shadow. Relief floods through him. He lowers his eyes to the ground and says nothing. Shadow takes this as a sign that he can approach.

"I was just taking care of something. Why aren't you in your workshop?"

Tails says nothing. Shadow waits, then walks past him. "Let's go in the house. You need water and a tune-up."

"I don't want a tune-up."

"I know." Shadow 's tone is gentle. "Come on."

Tails follows him inside. He sits at the table as Shadow opens the fridge, narrowing his eyes at the contents. "You need groceries."

Tails doesn't answer. Shadow brings him a sandwich and a glass of juice. Tails asks him if he's going to eat anything. He shakes his head. "Not hungry."

"Why do I have to eat if you don't?"

"Can you just eat? Please? I need to see your eye after this. Your wrist, too."

Tails pushes his plate away and rests his cheek on the table. Shadow sighs. 

"Can you at least drink your juice?"

Tails doesn't move. Shadow goes to the living room and sits on the couch, picks up the remote and starts flicking through the channels. He lands in that one turtle show Tails likes, hoping to draw him out. It works. Within a few minutes Tails is sitting on the floor next to him. Shadow glances down at him, smirking mildly, but says nothing.

After two episodes, Shadow shuts the TV off. Tails shoots him an accusing look. Shadow smiles. “Let me look at your eye.”

Tails looks at the floor. Shadow coaxes him. “Come on. One quick tune up and we can keep watching TV. If you let me start now, it’ll be back on before the commercials are over.” 

That does the trick. Tails lets him do what he has to do, without argument or complaint. When he’s done, he even manages to get him to eat a bit of his food.

When he turns the TV back on, to his surprise, Tails leans against him and rests his head on his shoulder. He stiffens, uncomfortable, but Tails either doesn’t notice or doesn’t mind. 


	23. ??

"Do you have to go?"

Tails follows him to the door, eyes wide with worry. Shadow pities him, but not enough to stay.

"Don’t forget to take your medication. And get to bed on time. No TV past midnight."

"I want to go with you."

"No."

"What if he hurts you?"

"We talked about this."

"But what if he does?"

Shadow doesn't answer. He doesn't like to repeat himself, especially when he knows it's pointless. As he leaves, Tails lingers on the threshold, watching anxiously.

 

 

*

 

 

Sonic is dressed up. Amy's doing, no doubt. It’s a little weird to see him wearing clothes. Usually all he has is that dumb scarf.

He smiles as soon as he sees Shadow coming, runs up and throws his arms around him. "I thought you were gonna be late."

Shadow catches his balance and puts an arm around Sonic's waist, recovering from his surprise just in time to reply. "I'm never late."

"What movie did you want to see?"

"I’m not picky."

"You know Tommy Thunder? I met him once. He's an idiot."

"Never heard of him."

"Lucky."

They start to walk. Sonic is holding his hand, which is off-putting. They'd agreed put aside their differences to have this date, but it's not like they'd cleared the air. Shadow had expected a little reservation at least, but as it turns out, he shouldn't have. Sonic is all over him, clinging, snuggling. The theater isn’t dark for ten minutes before they begin making out.

Which is fine. It’s not like Shadow gives a shit what’s happening on screen. They do get kicked out, though. As soon as fresh air hits them, their lips connect again. Shadow almost loses his breath as he’s slammed into the side of the building, his back forced up against the cool, solid concrete. He breaks the kiss with some difficulty, grinning coyly. “Someone’s frisky tonight.” 

Sonic kisses him again. “I love you.” 

Shadow fails to respond. Luckily, Sonic chooses that moment to put his tongue in his mouth. Still, his lack of reciprocity is lost on neither of them. 

I love you. Where did that come from, all of a sudden? It’s no use. After a minute, Shadow pushes him away. Sonic resists, confused. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

Sonic goes on the defensive. “We’re allowed to do this. I like you. Don’t you like me?”

Shadow says nothing. Sonic persists. “Don’t you get it? We’re two sides of the same coin. I mean, I’m not saying it’s destiny, but— you’re like my other half. I love you and I’m not afraid to say it.” 

“Stop.”

Sonic shuts up and steps back. Without each other’s warmth, it suddenly feels much chillier out. Shadow still isn’t looking at him. Sonic hesitates, then sighs. “What am I gonna do with you?” 

Shadow smiles dryly. “Get rid of me?”

Sonic takes his hand. “You wish.”

They walk along the beach, not talking. Shadow is sorely tempted to bring up what he’d done, all the shitty things that ended with Tails getting hurt, but somehow he restrains himself. He knows it’s not the time. They’re supposed to be having a peaceful evening for once. 

After a while, they stop, staring out at the horizon. The air is salty and the sky is dark. Sonic rests his chin on Shadow’s shoulder.

“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks. Shadow considers it. Not really. Sometimes it honestly feels like he has no future. But he doesn’t say that. Instead, he says, “sometimes.” 

“I don’t want to grow up.” 

“You’ll figure it out, one day. I mean, I didn’t turn out so bad, did I?” 

“No,” Sonic answers seriously, although Shadow had been half joking. He doesn’t know where all this sentiment is coming from. He pokes Sonic in the side where he’s ticklish, prompting a laugh. The mood lightens. 

“Wanna go to my house? I have MBS VII.” 

“You’re going to lose.” 

“Don’t bet on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY MOLY  
> i wonder if my recent bout of depression had to do with being glued to tumblr and ao3 or if it’s just the fact that it’s january?


End file.
